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Q: My sensitive child constantly bursts into tears when he doesn't get what he wants. What should we do ?
A : In every moment children are taking actions to fulfil a need. So your child is bursting into tears to fulfil a need. I imagine this need is to be listened to, and the only strategy he believes he has to meet it is to cry. Your response could be two fold.
Firstly, when he bursts into tears, stop what you are doing, gently guide him away to a quiet place and just listen to him, let him cry and just listen and empathise with him.
Secondly, once he is finished, acknowledge what he was feeling and needing, and gently explain that he is more likely to get what he wants by asking for it rather than crying. You could even do a role play to practice it. 
Then give each other a big hug !
A great resource that explains this process is 'Respectful Parents Respectful Kids'.
Click here to see what parents have to say. |
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Q: What is the best 'present' you can give your Sensitive Child?
YOUR PRESENCE ! To be with your child, in this moment, right now. Not worrying about what happened yesterday, or what is going to happen. Not letting your mind speed down the freeway of life into the future.
When you are PRESENT with your child, in this moment, you are saying 'I love you, you are so important to me'. In giving this small gift you build their confidence and self esteem.
You can be present even when you are sharing 'doing' moments together. You could be wrapping a gift for a friend or hanging the washing on the line. When you are 'doing' these things together, in presence, you are sharing a moment in time, and a space opens up revealing the true essence of life - love, truth, compassion, and peace.
So as a parent, wherever you are, whatever you are doing, if you are experiencing worry, pain, guilt or sadness about your Sensitive Child. Pause, take a deep breath and centre - now you are giving yourself and your child the best 'Present' - YOUR PRESENCE! And watch the magic of your life unfold. |
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Q: Toilet training. My 3 yr old son is being toilet trained and has successfully mastered the weeing, however his #2's are proving to be a little more difficult. He holds them until he has a nappy on (bed-times). Has only made 2 mistakes in his undies with a poo and his toilet training started 26/12/08 (a month ago). I have tried poo's go in toilet until he'd say poo mummy now put it in toilet, so I've stopped that. Im now going to remove his nappy for daytime sleeps and see if that helps. He starts pre-school soon with a requisite to being fully toilet trained. I've run out of ideas, I know it's normal and he'll get it, I was just hoping you might have some ideas on what else I could do and what not to do.
Yes I sense that this part of his toilet training will fall into place very quickly.
The idea of daytime sleeps without nappies is brilliant, just make sure you
go in and check him straight after he has gone to sleep and soon after he wakes up. (reduces likelihood of mess). I have three suggestions:
1. Put him onto the toilet before going to sleep and as soon as he wakes up.
2. Because our thoughts, words and feelings create our reality, I would also suggest you start to visualise him pooing in the toilet, and imagining the feeling you would have when he does his poos in this way, plus say outloud ‘(name), does his pooes straight into the toilet’. You could also do this with him ie saying outloud ‘I do my poos straight into the toilet’
3. Finally, and importantly, I would suggest you spend some quiet time reflecting on why he is doing this. Maybe it is because he just feels safer, if this is the case then all you need to do is help him to feel safe not having a nappy when going to bed, and continue to encourage the poo going into the toilet. There could be other reasons, so use the quiet time to connect with your intuition and see what they are.
And if he does mess, accept it and move the energy in your mind to what you want it to be ie saying outloud ‘….. does his poos in the toilet’.
Good luck, I would love to know how it goes.
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Q: My child doesn't seem to be able to get ready on time for school, this creates stress for the whole family. Any suggestions ?
There are likely to be a couple of reasons why your child is unable to focus. Firstly, mornings can be a little busy for everyone, and that additional energy disrupts sensitive children's focus. Secondly, like every child, playing is much more fun than getting ready for school
I would do a couple of things.
- Get up a little earlier, so everyone has heaps of time to get ready.
- Create a routine for your child to follow.
- Reduce any distractions ie turn off the TV until all of his jobs are done.
- Practice lots of centering and breathing.
- Prepare a card, with pictures, of the steps he needs to do before school (maximum of 9). This really does work effectively, I used this with both my boys.
- Once they are ready, celebrate! And if there is time, suggest they can now go and play.
 If you are interested in the card with pictures, I have designed a set that is ready to go. Each 'It's all about Me' kit comes with a booklet which is full of ideas of how to support your child, an Every Morning I... card (see above), a celebration card and much more.
PS The 'It's all about Me' kit is on special this week at 20% off, to celebrate the start of school. Click here to find out more. | |
