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It’s normal to be anxious or fearful from time to time.  Anxiety is the label used when the distress or fearfulness keeps going for a long time and or seems out of proportion to the situation i.e. the fear reaction is much stronger or longer lasting than we might expect and is getting in the way of normal enjoyment of life and daily activities.

Why does my child experience anxiety?

Anxiety is a feeling experienced in the body.  It is strong, and can be overwhelming.  Like all feelings it is connected to the persons needs and can be a chance to heal, grow and find a new understanding. 

This doesn’t mean that there is not a genuine need for support and soothing.  There most likely is a need for this and calm, centered parenting.  It helps to be the supporter effectively if you can put aside any fears or concerns of your own, that your child is a problem or is flawed.  It can be important to find support for yourself separately for your anxiety about your child’s anxiety.

Feelings of anxiety are occurring because fear has reached a high level within the child.  Exactly why this has occurred may or may not become known.  Regardless of exactly what the original stimulus was, the original unmet need for safety, security, respect, care, connection… is still at large.  Addressing and meeting this need will be part of the healing process.

Anxiety creates an acidic condition that effects the processing of our genetic information and biochemical reactions.  That emotion then becomes a predominant factor in our lives.[i]

It’s normal for anxiety to be triggered in children by things that would not trigger you or me, into feeling anxious.  Sometimes we can understand the link, for instance it’s common for babies or toddlers to experience separation anxiety from their parent. We might be able to guess why an older child is still experiencing this.

However logic and anxiety are not always connected, so it is helpful to remember that the feeling and the needs are genuine to the child and respect this even though you may not logically understand. Forcing a child to face a fear or laughing it off may make things worse and add shame into the equation.

What are the symptoms or features of anxiety?

Physical symptoms might include one or more of the following: headaches, nausea, diarrhea, sweating, stomach aches, vomiting, crying, clinging or withdrawing to a safe place, fidgeting or complaining.

A child who is anxious will most likely try to avoid what it is that triggers their anxiety.  So they may be unwell and avoid school to save themselves feeling anxious about failing. Or they may avoid going on the play equipment at the park to avoid the anxiety they experience when apart from their parents. 

Who experiences anxiety?

Babies, toddlers, children, teenagers and adults – any of us may experience anxiety.

How can you help?

1. Be calm and centered and teach your child how to do this for themselves.  Practice and learn techniques you can both use when anxiety is being experienced and at other times.  This is a lifelong skill which will develop healthy constructive habits for times of stress.  It will also support you! (A) Œ
2. Therapeutic grade essential oils can play an important role to help you and your child to move beyond the emotional barrier formed by anxiety. (B)
   
   *  They help the body to minimize the acid that is created which is important for the physical health of the body.
   
   *  They are very calming and soothing to the central nervous system and help to avoid building up further anxiety.
   
   *  Because they can be absorbed through the nasal cavity to the limbic system, they will activate the memory center for fear and trauma (the amygdala in the brain) and sedate and relax the sympathetic and para-sympathetic system and also help the mind and body to release built up emotional trauma.[ii]
3. Learn more about feelings and needs.  Being able to empathise and be present with your child during their anxiety without moving to fix or stop their experience rather to simply and effectively support them with love can be very significant in releasing the effect the anxiety is having on you and them.  (C)Ž
4. Healing past trauma and releasing its effects through specialist assistance can be necessary.  Nurture House offers gentle, non-invasive and effective healing support for parents and children. (D)